Quackometer Online Website

July 28, 2017

>THE ADVENTURES OF PROFESSOR OBI : CASE STUDY 1 : STUDENT A

______________

'Student A' was a STAR CANDIDATE , in His Final Year of Medical School , when He Accidentally Enjoyed an Utterly Amazing Avalanche of Rampant Romantic Escapades , with the Secret (Long Term) Girlfriend of One of His Top Clinical Professors.

Although the (Highly Accomplished) Faculty Professor was (Happily) Married with Lovely Kids , He Had (Hitherto) Seriously Depended on the Extremely Beautiful Girl for (Emergency) Moral (and General Sexual) Support.

Since the (No-Nonsense) Professor had Formerly Served as (Honourable) Dean of the Faculty of Medicine , (Distinguished) Provost of the College of Health Sciences , (Renowned) Chief of Surgery , Revered (University) Deputy Vice Chancellor and (Hallowed) National Medical Council Board Chairman ; He was Ultimately a Very (Very) Powerful (Political) Clinical Figure (Indeed).

All of a Sudden , the (Hitherto Highly Intelligent) Male Medical Student mysteriously started Failing ALL of His Assessments plus ALL of His Clinical Attachments , and ALL of His Medical School Exams.

His Poor Parents were Totally Distraught , since they had Already Mortgaged their Family Home , simply just to Put him through Medical School , and were (previously) Hoping that he would rapidly take over the Monthly (Bank Loan) Payments , as soon as He Graduated.

. . . But Worse Things were Still (Yet) to Come . . .

A Grand Meeting of Top Medical Doctors was Hastily Convened , and (in His Notable Absence) , it was Universally Decided that He was Not Fundamentally Suitable to Ethically Graduate as a Medical Doctor.

. . . So , (Without Notice) , They (Unceremoniously) Kicked Him Out of Medical School , (in Total Disgrace) ; only few months before He was due to Formally Graduate as a Medical Doctor . . .

. . . Of Course , the (Rightfully Expensive) Top Lawyers , Senior Barristers and Eminent Solicitors then swiftly moved in (En Masse) , Loudly Quoting (Almost) Every Plausible Legal Statute on the Planet on the Student's Behalf ; but No Court (or Tribunal) could ever Overturn his Rustication . . .

A Few Years Later , while he was working as a (Part-Time) Pizza Delivery Guy , the Former Medical Student kindly stopped to Help a Tall Black Man ; whose (Outrageously Temperamental) Vintage Mercedes Car had suddenly decided to Go on Strike . . .

The (Ex) Medical Student noticed a Few Healthcare Books in the Back of the Car and they both started Eagerly Chatting about General Health Topics ; until the Vehicle Recovery Services eventually arrived to Competently Tow the Classic Merc Automobile away , for Appropriate Mechanical Repairs.

After Exchanging Contact Details , the Pizza Delivery Guy went on his Way and the Tall Black Chap got a Taxi and Headed Off to his Pre-scheduled Appointment.

Throughout their Discussion , the Former Medical Student never ever even Mentioned Medical School at all : He simply presented Himself as someone with an Insatiable Interest in Current Healthcare Issues.

Eight Months Later , I received an Utterly Disturbing Phone Call from an Excruciatingly Anxious Woman ; who was obviously at the Very End of Her (Human) Tether.

Her Only Son had just Attempted to Kill Himself , and She urgently wanted Someone to (Intensely) Talk to Him.

She claimed to have (Miraculously) found my Business Card in one of His Old Pizza (Courier) Jackets , and (After a Rather Quick Internet Search) , was Extremely Curious as to why He would Secretly have my Professional Card in His Pocket.

It Later Emerged that Her Most Precious (and Only) Son had just been Discharged from Casualty (ER) , as Case of a Patient who was 'Crying for Help'.

. . . And Cry Out To Me (For Help) , He (Most Certainly) Did.

Apparently , Over the Previous 5 Years , His (Ageing) Parents had Unsuccessfully Tried to get Him into Every Medical Shool in the Country ; as a Final Year Student.

Every Time , At the Very Last Minute , His Nemesis (The Super Professor) would Brutally Sabotage Everything , and (Decisively) Block His Efforts.

His Parents were Now Destitute (because of Him) , and that was why He sometimes (Half-Heartedly) wanted to End It All.

When He had Finished , I Reciprocally Told Him about My Very Own Life Story.

At the End of the Talk , He Firmly Realized that there was Still a Glimmer of Hope , Somewhere Out There ; for Him.

I Constantly Mentored Him , over the Phone , for the Next 3 Months.

After That , I frequently sent Him a Few (Current) Medical Books Every (Blessed) Week , to gradually get Him back on Track.

When the Time was (Absolutely) Right , I Comprehensively Assessed His (Professional) Clinical Skills ; and then (Carefully) Gave Him (and His Parents) Some Very Bad News (Indeed).

The Bad News was that I , the Amazing Professor Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi , had Woefully (and Spectacularly) Failed to find any Accredited Medical School on Earth which was Unreservedly Prepared to Accept Him Back into their Final (Graduating) Year.

BUT I DID , HOWEVER , (PATHETICALLY) MANAGE TO CRAFTILY CALL IN A FEW FAVOURS , from Some (Long Lost) Friends of Mine ; who were Perfectly (and Gallantly) Willing to IMMEDIATELY Accept Him directly into their Penultimate Clinical Year (Instead).

. . . HIS (LONG-SUFFERING) PARENTS ALMOST FAINTED (OUT OF JOYFUL DISBELIEF) . . .

. . . Today , He is a Fully Qualified (and Fully Licensed) Medical Doctor , who , sometime in the Year 2017 , (Proudly) Purchased a Tiny , Little , (Semi-Dilapidated) , Maisonette Apartment ; for His (Absolutely Fabulous) Parents . . .

. . . Alas , Sadly , The Pretty Young Girl , Above , Eventually Dumped the Top Medical Professor , plus All the Rest of Those who somehow happened to (Luckily) Find Themselves on Her Very Long List of (Utterly Besotted) Medical School Boyfriends.

She is now the Permanent 'Side-Piece' of a Very , Very , Wealthy Russian Oligarch . . .

. . . Unsurprisingly , The Emeritus Super Professor has Still Not Forgiven Me to Date ; and (Most Probably) Never (Ever) Will . . .

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE DEFINITION | COMMON QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS | DEFINITION OF ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE | 2O17

(A Very Simple Overview of the Big Definition of Alternative Medicine , which has been Universally Credited to Professor Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi)

MAIN QUESTIONS

What is the Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is Alternative Medicine ?

How can Alternative Medicine be Defined ?

What is the General Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is the Best Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is the Most Accurate Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is the Modern Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

MAIN ANSWER

According to Professor Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi , Alternative Medicine , (AM) , is Outrageously Defined as being :

MAIN NOTES

Ever the Controversial (Political) Maverick , Prof Obi Sensationally Shocked the Online Clinical Fraternity by Quietly Publishing this Highly Explosive (November 2016) Alternative Medicine Definition on the (Highly Influential) LinkedIn Professional Social Network , rather than on his Public Google Plus Profile (which would have Globally Generated FAR Much More Publicity).

Sources Close to the (EMINENT) Top Black Politician are (currently) not commenting as to whether his Latest Move is to be seen as a Major (Retaliatory) Snub to the Whole Google Establishment ; after it Shockingly Emerged that (Certain) Google Staff in London (UK) had Secretly been induced to (Politically) Work Against Him.

For the Record , Dr Obi is a Fully Licensed International Medical Practitioner , (i.e a Duly Qualified Physician and Surgeon) , who currently Serves as Professor-in-Chief of the Alternative Medicine Campaign.

He can easily be contacted via either http://www.ClinicalAdvisers?.com , or through his Official LinkedIn Profile.

MAIN REFERENCES

Reference Link 1 : LinkedIn Article

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/alternative-medicine-big-definition-professor-obi

Reference Link 2 : LinkedIn Profile

https://www.linkedin.com/in/alternativemedicinedoctor

MAIN METADATA

Meta Keywords : Alternative Medicine,Alternative Medicine Definition,Professor Joseph Obi,Professor Obi,Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi

Meta Hash Tags (and Hash Identifiers) : #AlternativeMedicine,#AlternativeMedicineDefinition,#ProfessorJosephChikelueObi,#ProfessorObi,#ProfessorJosephObi

Meta Tags : Alternative Medicine,Alternative Medicine Definition,Professor Joseph Obi,Professor Obi,Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi

Quackometer | Medicine is Art , Not Science | Art Based Medicine v Science Based Medicine

Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi , would clearly like to Categorically Disseminate the Following 5 Diktats :

* There is No Such Thing as Science Based Medicine in any Basic Statutory Definition of Orthodox Clinical Medicine ; anywhere in the World .

* Orthodox Clinical Medicine is Predominantly an Art , Not a Science.

* Over 75% of Orthodox Clinical Medicine is Not Evidence Based.

* Over 99% of Orthodox Clinical Medicine is Not Science Based.

* If Science Based Medicine is currently being given such Undue Eminence ; then it is only right and proper that Art Based Medicine should equally be given Appropriate Prominence too.

The Quackometer Hall of Fame | Obi's Tormentors | Where Are They All Now ? | Bad Karma !

Mister Anthony Joseph O'Reilly has (Finally) been Kicked Out of the Hallowed Commercial Boardroom of the Irish Independent Newspaper Consortium ; together with all of his Teeny Weeny Sprogs. For the very first time in over 40 years , there is No O'Reilly Dynasty Member at the helm of Irish Newspaper Publishing.

Miss Louise Redvers has still not got the Top (UK Chief Executive) Job which was promised to her when she infamously penned her (Now Discredited) Chronicle Hatchet Job. She is currently said to be Bitterly Simmering Away , (as a Frustrated Freelance Journalist) , somewhere within the Southern Part of Africa ; desperately hoping for a Miracle.

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) Blogger (and Freshly Recruited Scouts Mentor), Mr Tim Ireland , of Bloggerheads (and Thoughtbubble) , is still said to be Deliciously Gawping (and Profusely Salivating) over Tantalizing Topless Photographs of Joseph Chikelue Obi. Unfortunately , it (alarmingly) seems that Tim has (most definitely) not learnt any lessons (whatsoever) from his previous Multiple Sex Abuse Allegation Scandals ; since Further Sordid Accusations are Juicily Fluttering all over the World Wide Web (WWW).

Graeme Robertson Dawson Catto , Disgraced Former President of the General Medical Council (GMC) , is publicly known to have Sensationally Undergone a Qasi-Biblical Clinical Status Conversion. Apparently , Catto is now an Ardent Fan of Alternative Medicine ; with or without the Odd Little Sprinkling of Evidence Based Quackademia.

Most of the Racist Police Officers , who were gleefully sniffing around , have now been Disciplined for Corruption and other Types of Misconduct ; while one of them is even said to be working as a Kitchen Porter (Dish-Washer) in a Dingy British Restaurant. Another One is said to have a Terrifying Substance Addiction.

Unlicensed Medical Doctor , (and Failed Pensionable Psychiatrist) , Stephen Barrett of Quackwatch , has (sadly) now lost almost everything that he owns ; and was duly denounced by Top American Jurists to be a Highly Unreliable Liar and an Utterly Irredeemable Fraudster (i.e A Quackbuster Turned Quack !).

Finally , the (Clinically Unqualified) Quackometer Blog Owner Andy Lewis , is (presently & rightfully) being shunned by Growing Numbers of Previous Major Donors and Supporters ; most of who (wisely) do not want anything whatsoever to do with his (Nefarious) Racist (& Xenophobic) Activities. He is now secretly rumoured to be seeking Emergency Network Funding from Ardent Pharmaceutical Devotees of SIMILAR ILK to the Ku Klux Klan (KKK).

Search This Blog

Quackometer

Quackometer